Monday, May 23, 2011

inTrospection and neon carroT

Someone I know died this weekend in sort of a freak accident.  He wasn't my best friend or anything but I know his family well.  He was a good man, a good father and a good husband.  I'm so sad because I have no idea how his wife or children (all adults now) will cope.  But you do.  Cope.

I haven't been on SL much.  I got rid of my skyland about a month ago because it seemed silly to be paying rent when I wasn't there all that much.  The truth is, I think I fail at Second Life.  If this were a game (*yes, I know this is not a game*), I would probably lose.  Or if this was Survivor, I would have been eliminated the first week. But one of my passions is writing and for some reason, I really love writing this blog.  I write stuff here that I would never share with my rl family or friends.

I deleted my facebook account a couple weeks ago.  Basically, I suck at all aspects of this social media/communication phenomena (but hey, I can sew!  And I'm running 2 miles now!).  This all came about because of two experiences.  I was in Starbucks one day (my usual order is a grande soy iced mocha no whip) and as I was looking around, I noticed how people were sitting across from each other but not really talking to one another.  Everyone seemed to have their heads down, looking at their phones.  The other experience was that I reunited with my best friend from college that I haven't seen in 15 years.  I was a little nervous because I had no idea if we would have enough to talk about.  But it was great-we started talking as if we had just seen each other the week before.  It was fun just hanging out.  I've missed her.  We also talked about how the whole art of communication is fading.  Will we know how to carry on a face to face conversation in 10 years?  Of course, we both majored in Anthropology so we tend to look at life through primate lenses.  My friend Alana has never been on Facebook.

Needless to say, I immediately went home and deleted my facebook account.

So what is the point of this long winded post and what does it have to do with my friend dying this weekend?  I've been off and on sL for 3 years.  I came back this time around to start blogging.  It's amazing how your thoughts can seem like a rambling mess of confusion but can become calm and sensible after you sort through and write them down.  So I will continue to write here once in awhile at 3am in the morning when I'm struggling with insomnia (one part of sL success is to probably be on when your friends are and not at 3am when no one is around and all the coffee house events are long over).

Life is fleeting.  People you know today could be gone tomorrow.  People you want to know or who want to know you could be gone tomorrow.  This past weekend proved this for me. When something like this happens, especially when it's unexpected, you start evaluating your own life.  At least I do.  It's early Monday morning and I'm trying to figure out how to accomplish all I want in life.  And instead of texting my sister all week, I'm going to pick up the phone and call her.  And instead of catching up with friends through their status updates on facebook, I'm going to suggest meeting for coffee.  I don't want them to be here today, gone tomorrow.

The only thing I really know for certain is right now.  I tend to think about tomorrow, plan for tomorrow, worry about tomorrow way too much.  And regretting what happened yesterday?  Yep, I'm all over that.   Rarely am I able to just live today.  Well, fuck it. I'm going to live for least today I will.

hair: Lamb, Mess
dress: Snowpaws, Array Mini
poses: Olive Juice