Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Don't know just where I'm going
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming
And the air is cold
And I'm not the same anymore

Happy 2011! I started this post back in August (2010) and I'm just now completing it. I thought it would be a good way to begin 2011 for Translucent Journey. And just so you know, this post is going to run a little long.

Some cool things are happening in my life but it's hard to enjoy them because I'm plagued with self-doubt and fear. Much of how I feel is my own doing but it's hard sometimes, to fight that inner voice which can be so negative. I'm in the process of doing something I've always wanted to do, ever since I was a teenager but sometimes I think I defeat myself purposely because I'm afraid. If I don't try then I won't make mistakes, and then, of course, I won't fail. I never thought of myself as a perfectionist but I definitely have those tendencies. When I make a mistake, no matter how small, I beat myself up over it.

I also tend to screw up potential relationships of late for all the reasons above.

I've been running in your direction
For too long now, I've lost my own reflection
And I can't look down
And you're not there to catch me when I fall

A couple years ago Idina Menzel, who was the original Elphaba in Wicked on Broadway, came out with her first CD, I Stand (I think she's been on Glee but I don't know since I don't watch that show. Ducks). One of the best $100 I spent was in 2003, on a ticket to see Wicked in NYC the night after opening night with Idina and Kristin Chenowith. It was amazing. I also met Idina once in NYC. She's gorgeous, talented, has an amazing voice and her CD is fantastic.  If ever there was a song that summed up how I feel going into a new year, Brave is that song. Every line speaks to me.

If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my right of passage
That somehow leads me home
I might be afraid but it's my turn to be brave

(and yeah, I know how annoying it is to read lyrics to a song you might not know)

Some friends recently told me that I'm one of the most interesting and talented people they've met and if anyone can make a go of this entrepreneur adventure, I can. My point in sharing this is not to brag (I'm not a bragger-believe me) but to tell you what my immediate reaction to my friends' comments were "what? who? me?" That's my typical reaction to a compliment. Why does everyone believe in me except for me? It's funny how your mind works. I know so many talented people who seem to defeat themselves, and I always try to boost them up and make them see the wonderful person that is within each of them.  It's way easier to see this in another than in yourself.

If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave

When a new year starts we all have grandiose plans for ourselves. We want to change, become a better version of ourselves but then we kind of lose the momentum mid-February (or sooner). For very personal reasons (which I won't get into), I really need to get my shit together in 2011. There is no other option. And in order to do that, I'm stepping way out of my comfort zone in all areas of my life and yeah, I'm scared :(

And I might still cry
And I might still bleed
These thorns in my side
This heart on my sleeve

And lightening may strike
This ground on my feet
And I might still crash
But I still believe

So today I stand. I own myself. I own my feelings. It's my turn to be Brave.

The skin I'm wearing is from ND/MD (coz I have to bring this self-absorbed post back around to SL). I discovered them at last year's Fantasy Faire and just had to have their Cyborg Skin (I actually have three of them!). I'm attempting to create a superhero through pen and ink and colored pencil to represent 2011 (I know I sound like a nerd/geek but nerds/geeks are cool!) and yes, I might post it at some point. I think the Cyborg Skin kind of gives my AV a badass superhero look with an artsy feel.  If you're interested in unique, different and wild hair then I recommend Vanity Hair. I'm wearing the !Viola!

Also, the locations I choose to take my images usually represent...something. The sims are usually amazing to look at and deserve a tp from you! From top to bottom image, the taxi will take you to these areas:

Emerald Green
Golden Gate Bridge
Dreamers Paradise

Finally, I included Idina Menzel singing Brave. I wanted to embed the original video but damn youTube wouldn't let me. It's a great song. I hope you give it a listen! Again, I wish you a wonderful and prosperous 2011 and I appreciate all of you who take a peek at this silly blog!

No comments: